orange – a poem

A Submission by Isabella Olmstead

a part of April 2020’s Monthly prompt: Heartbreaks, Heartbeats, and Heartaches

i still feel like a small child
when i’m with you
i flinch away because of you
can’t mind what i say because of you
my skin is flayed because of you
i was made because of you

i blame you 
for everything
think you fucked up my dna
because i’m always angry
i’m always sad
i’m hopeless
i’m bad

you never apologized
you never will
you keep giving me things to come to terms with
too fast
giving me whiplash
you’re so sorry that i turned out this way
but you made me
motherfucker
you made me

i think you fucked up my dna
i don’t trust anyone
never really loved anyone
except you, my brother, and mom
yes, i love you
you don’t deserve it
i wish i didn’t 

i wish i didn’t 
i wish i didn’t

i wish i-

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Follow Isabella on her Instagram here

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Illustration by Stella Wang, follow her instagram here